A Tragic Moment in Tragic Times

I'm not one to usually comment on politics. I don't typically get involved in the debates over various issues in our country. That's not to say that I don't have an opinion or care about the issues - I just don't feel like I need to share those thoughts with the world.

However, I'm making an exception for the Dallas police officer massacre that happened last night. C called me to explain what was going on (I was at my mom's house and missed the news broadcast), and I was in shock. As more details surface and I watch press conferences regarding the situation, I can't quite organize my thoughts. So here is my attempt to organize my mind and come to terms with the grief in my heart for those heroes that protected people protesting AGAINST them.

This situation is a tragedy. There is no other way to look at it. The men and women in blue put their lives on the line every. single. day. Not a day goes by that they are not risking everything for people they have never even met. I'm not saying that their lives are worth any more or less than any other, and I'm not undermining the loss of life of those black men who were killed by officers that led to protests... But, I am saying that we need to call this what it is: an evil action against people that were doing their job to protect others. 

I do not believe all police officers are good. Let's be honest, there are bad people in this world. Some of those people are likely police officers. I even think that some police officers start out with good intentions and the power eventually changes things. However, with that being said, there is absolutely no reason that we need to judge all police officers on the actions of a few. Because I truly believe most police officers are good. And honestly, I wasn't there in any of those "unarmed" situations. I have only seen what media has twisted, and I know there are always at least two sides to every story.

One thing I do know is that regardless of my beliefs about police officers, I will always treat them with respect. I personally have never had a bad experience with a police officer. Now, obviously I have a bit of a bias as I am a white female, and I'm not overlooking that. But I do know that regardless of my thoughts, if I get pulled over (or are in some other way interacting with police officers), I treat them with utmost respect. However, I try to do that with all people I interact with. It's called common decency.

I know it is thought by many that the world is made of good and bad people. But that is a little too dichotomous for my way of thinking. I think the world is made of people. And those people make choices - sometimes good choices, sometimes bad choices, and sometimes indifferent choices. And sometimes those choices don't affect anyone else, but sometimes they do. In this case, a group of people chose to make an extremely evil choice against people they had never met based on a predetermined belief system that police officers are bad. And that choice impacts not only those directly involved, but the entire nation.

The problem here, as I see it, is indifference to those choices. There is outrage on behalf of those officers, but there is also some condescension. This is being called a "gun-related tragedy" by politicians who are using it as a stepping point to further the push for better gun laws. I heard during one news broadcast that "the police officers had guns and didn't stop the violence, so we need to stop saying that good people with guns can stop bad people with guns." But let's take a step back and look at what is really happening. This tragedy is being shepherded into the camp of gun-related tragedy, but what it really is is a people tragedy. Stop villainizing guns and start looking at the real issue - that people are okay with people, any people - black, white, men, women, police officers, civilians - being murdered. Let's address the real issue here instead of ignoring what really happened and start loving one another again

I could go on, but let's leave it at that. Love one another in spite of our differences.

Love from Okieland,
E

Reminiscing about my guy

I found a cute little significant other survey on facebook. Now while I don't typically post stuff like this on facebook, I thought it might be fun to answer a few questions on here. Especially since it is always fun for me to reminisce about the beginning of our relationship. With Valentine's Day coming up, what better time than now?

1. Where did you meet your other half?
At the Lincoln house (aka my friend Delaney's and his friend Schuyler's)

2. How long have you been with your significant other?
almost 4 years

3. If you're married, when did you say I do?
June 21, 2014

4. What is your song to your significant other?
as in the song we danced to on our wedding day? "Crazy Girl" by Eli Young Band. If I had to choose a song that reminded me of him... There are so many, but probably "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. If C liked country music, I could see him really resonating with that song. 

5. Do you have any children yet?
Nope, but we have a pretty childlike dog.

6. What's your favorite thing about your other half?
That he is my biggest fan and he always finds a way to make me feel good about myself.

7. Were you and your other half high school sweethearts?
Nope.

8. Where was your first date?
Well first "hang out" was at his apartment, watching Big Bang Theory. First "official date" was Buffalo Wild Wings. 

9. How long were you dating before you said "I love you"?
Approximately 3 months. I know it was after my dad passed away because it came at a time when I was in tears and he was just telling me how much he was hurting for me because he loved me. But I knew he loved me before that, when he came to my dad's service without having ever met him or any of my family.  😊

10. How long were you dating your other half before he/she proposed?
1 year and 5 months after our first date (to the day!)

11. Where is your favorite place you have traveled with your other half?
Puerta Vallarta, Mexico🌸

🌊🗻

12. How do you and your other half usually spend Valentines Day?
Just being together... I don't think we have ever done the "traditional" Valentine's Day thing.  A few years ago we went to dinner at the casino and watched Despicable Me 2! :)

13. What does your favorite 'date night' consist of?
Cuddling together watching a movie or just spending time together. ❤

14. What is the best gift you have received from your other half?
My engagement ring because of what it stands for. And my camera because it was totally unexpected and he bought it for me because he knew I had been wanting one. 

Pie Chart of Bad Decisions

I just read a blog post about women who wait on their boyfriends to text them or contact them in some way.

I used to be that girl. Reading that blog, I was transported to a time in my life when I used to sit around waiting for a phone call or even a text message.

Not once, not twice, but over and over again. And I'm pretty ashamed to admit that.

From the time I was in early high school, I tended to seek approval from the guy I was dating. Which was actually pretty lame when you consider that he wasn't the best guy to be seeking approval from. He cheated, he lied, he used me. And still I came back for more.

Until I met C, I honestly don't think I had a healthy relationship. I won't go into all the gory details now, but suffice to say, I was treated terribly, repeatedly, and I never stood up for myself. I never walked away, ran away, or even said "f* you." I constantly wondered what did I do wrong? How can I keep him/get him back? It took a long time and a very eye-opening "break-up" experience to make me realize that it wasn't me. Now I'm not saying I was never the cause of any problems... I'm sure I did my fair share of crappy things. But I never intentionally hurt someone or cheated or used. And I sure as heck wasn't the problem causing these guys to treat me like crap. At least not on the surface.

Women, NO ONE has the right to make you feel like less of a person. And you should NEVER give someone the power to do so. Relationships are equal partnerships. If there is not equality in your relationship, it isn't a healthy relationship. I said before that I wasn't the problem causing the guys to treat me terribly. And that's true... to an extent. But at the same time, coming back over and over again perpetuated the problem. I didn't stand up for myself, I didn't walk away. And in being cowardly, I encouraged these behaviors.

After all was said and done, while sharing a bottle of wine and some cake, a dear friend of mine decided to help me see what problems reoccurred in my relationships. She made a pie chart of all my terrible relationship decisions. (I say all like there are hundreds. There aren't. But there are definitely more terrible decisions than I like to think of.) In creating this masterpiece, I realized something...



What, you might ask, did you realize?

I realized that (and I think these were my exact words that night) I'm quite the catch. I have some awesomely amazing qualities. And if these men didn't realize and appreciate that fact, they didn't deserve me. Well, that, and that I had a tendency to date losers. :)

That freakin' pie chart saved my life. Or at least my sanity and my future. After recognizing what so many people had been telling me for so long... I decided to stop looking for love. Being the great catch that I am, I figured it could find me. And what do you know? It did. With a little help from a fortune cookie, a margarita, and some friends. I found a guy who loves me for me, never makes me wonder why he won't call or text, and never lets me doubt his love for me.

Never settle for less than you deserve. He is out there somewhere.

Live from Okieland,

E

A Brand New Year

62 minutes left in the first day of a brand new year. Whew, I'm squeaking this blog entry in!

I love New Year's Day. Besides the fact that I'm off work, C is off work, and my mom is in town, I just love the newness that is January 1. While this past year flew by and I can hardly believe it is 2016, I love everything that this day stands for. It is a chance to start over. A chance to begin again or refresh what worked from previous years. It is a chance to grow.

I'm asked every year by my best friend what my new years resolutions are. And every year, I have pretty much the same response: "I don't know. Probably to get in better shape and eat better."

And every year, I roller coaster on that resolution. I do really well at times, and really terribly other times. This year, I responded to the question my best friend asked with: "I don't know. I'm still thinking about it."

But I think I have decided on my New Year's Resolution 2016 edition. And it isn't to "get in better shape" or "eat better."

My resolution this year is to take more time for me and really focus on making each day more important, more useful, and more fulfilling. I realize this is extremely vague and could mean something different to every person reading this (or, ya know, it might if people were actually reading this). But that's on purpose. I know goals are supposed to be SMART - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely; heck, I teach a lesson every year on goal setting. But I want my goal to be vague. Because it means I can frame it any way I want on any given day.

Okay, so how am I planning to accomplish this intentionally vague goal to "take more time for me and make each day more fulfilling"?

• I plan to work to implement and utilize a 'bullet journal' system instead of focusing on a planner or 18 different sets of lists. 
• I would like to read a daily devotional journal each day - I have one with short, cute, inspiring messages for each day. It's 3 minutes out of my day. I can do this for myself.
• I want focus on counting my blessings. Often after being stressed out at work and coming home to cook dinner and clean up the house, I get so caught up in the negative and the frustration. I'd like to try to find something positive in each day and record that in my bullet journal. 
• I want to take more time to meal plan - C and I have a bad habit of eating out more often than we should because I haven't been great about planning ahead.
• I really want to exercise for 30 minutes a day, excluding work. That can mean taking my dog for a walk, dancing, doing a workout video, heck, doing ankle raises while fixing my hair... I know I can do better at this. 
• Going to bed earlier. I feel so much better when I get enough sleep, but I stay up too late reading or just playing on my phone, and I lose precious sleep. Social media is wayyyy too present in my life. 

Okay, so now it's out there. I'll hopefully keep checking in and holding myself accountable in this blog.

I hope each and every one of you have thought of something you want to do better in 2016. Whatever it is, whether it is SMART or vague... Find a way to better yourself.

And remember, never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.


Live from Okieland,
E

What is the world coming to?

These days, hearing about mass shootings is all too common. As I write this, there is a news story on regarding the Paris attack and the band that was a part of the tragedy there.

For many, mass shootings are a scary, but rarely thought of, event. They enter our minds and hearts when news stories share the horrors of the events, but we don't think of them throughout the day. However, for teachers and school staff, they are always in the back of our minds. I think I speak for most teachers and administrators when I say that we are hyper vigilant these days in regards to intruders.

When I was in college, I was never told that if the need arose, I would be asked to put my life on the line for the children in my care. C told me one time that he never expected to have to worry about his wife going to work and fearing for her life in a school setting. But that is all too often the reality. Not that we are asked to put our life on the line - but, and again I'm speaking for others, I think most of us would gladly lay our life down to save those sweet, innocent young souls. That's why we got into this profession - to save kids. That can mean lots of things, but every teacher I know spends as much time worrying about his/her students as they do worrying about their own families. And to lose a child you have that connection with? Unthinkable. Heartbreaking. Absolutely terrifying.

I shouldn't have to worry for my safety at work. I should be able to leave my classroom door open to allow the Hades-like temperature of my room to disperse into the hallway. I shouldn't jump a little every time I hear the intercom or an unusual sound at work. But most of all, parents shouldn't have to worry about the risk of sending their children to school and wonder if they will see those children again. What a screwed up world we live in where those things are not a reality.

I work in Oklahoma - one of the absolute last states in regards to teacher pay. I have a master's degree and make less money than many people without a college education. However, I love those children in my care. I love seeing them smile, getting hugs, and hearing their triumphs and struggles. Most of all, I love hearing my kiddos who have moved on come back and tell me something they learned or remember from their days with me. I will put up with the pitiful pay and abysmal government support in order to serve those kids. But please, please, understand that when I gripe about my pay, I'm much more than a glorified babysitter. I teach your children. I dry their tears. I bandage boo-boos. I problem solve and listen to the concerns of their hearts. And I protect them from all the horrors no one should ever have to even consider when they send their child to school. And I do it with a smile because this is what I love.

So take today to thank a teacher. Not just for "putting up with your kid." Thank them for being willing to risk their lives every day to keep your baby safe.


Live from Okieland,
E

Count your Blessings

After a month spent counting my blessings and expressing via pictures what I am most thankful for, I realize that I have A LOT to be thankful for.

Besides recording my daily thankfulness on instagram, I also checked my timehop daily and saw previous thankful posts from years past. And each one of those posts reminded me that there are positives in every day, and countless reasons to be thankful of our blessings.

As I write this, I would like to make a compilation of my blessings... Knowing full well that I can never truly count all of those blessings, as they multiply daily. But here it is as of right now:

1. My faith. Call this religion, call this belief, call it whatever makes you comfortable, but faith keeps me going when things are difficult.
2. My husband. I honestly was not sure I would ever find someone who could put up with my craziness, and he suits me so completely.
3. My mom. She centers me and listens when I need to chat. And she taught me all my craftiness I know.
4. My brother. He has always looked out for me and supported me.
5. My dad and the 25 years I had with him. I think we all tend to take people in our lives for granted until we have lost someone close to us.
6. My niece. Even though she isn't my child, she taught me about that unconditional love an adult can have for a child.
7. My in-laws. I definitely got lucky when I married into their family. I know not everyone is blessed with great in-laws, but I am!
8. My friends. I could do a separate number for each one, but for length sake, just know that I am thankful for them.
9. That I never wanted for anything growing up, or now for that matter. My parents always made sure I had food, clothes, shelter, and most importantly, love. I'm still blessed with those things.
10. My puppy. Until her, I never understood how people could love a pet like a child.
11. Hugs. Hugs make everything better.
12. Laughter. C brings so much laughter to my life and I can't imagine living without it.
13. Coffee. It makes getting up much easier and more enjoyable!
14. Chocolate. Need I say more?
15. Owning my own home. I feel as though I'm working toward something instead of throwing money away.
16. My car. When I hit the deer a few weeks ago and shared a car with C, I realized how thankful I am to have my own car.
17. My grandmas. I still have 3 (2 bio and 1 "step") and they are all amazing women.
18. My job. Although it drives me crazy a lot of the time, getting hugs from kiddos every day makes me pretty lucky.
19. OSU. What a wonderful university family. Never have I been more thankful than after the Homecoming tragedy, when I saw how everyone pulled together. #stillwaterstrong
20. Books. I'm thankful for my love of reading so I can disappear into a different world when I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
21. The small things like naps, apple pie, candles, and pretty fall days.
22. Heated blankets. When you keep your house set on super cold, they sure are handy.
23. Wine after a long day. Or during a lazy day.
24. Shoes. I'm blessed to have a wonderful collection and boy do I love them!
25. Christmas lights. Those pretty, sparkling lights that bring joy whenever I see them.

I could go on, but I'm just going to end on an even (or uneven, to get technical) 25.

Count your blessings. Every day, and not just during the month of November. Show gratitude.

Live from Okieland,

E

Leave a mark

As I sit here on this quiet Sunday morning, with a heating blanket on my lap and my puppy curled at my feet, my thoughts are anything but quiet. Yesterday was spent with friends, watching our college football team lose a heartbreaking game, and with it, our undefeated season and our championship play-off hopes. But that isn't what has me in tears this morning.

While talking on the phone to my mom, something I do every morning, she mentioned a country singer duo by the name of Joey + Rory. She had seen a video and learned of Joey's fight with cancer. Her terminal, end-of-life, fight with cancer. The video she saw was titled "When I'm Gone" and made in 2012 - before Joey's cancer diagnosis. This video describes a wife's attempt to comfort her husband after she's gone. I've seen it. And it's heartbreaking how closely it models the couple's fight right now.

But even that isn't what has me in tears. Rory, Joey's husband, writes a blog. He puts his family's trials, tribulations, and triumphs out there for the world to see. And right now, there are a lot of trials. Joey is receiving end-of-life hospice care. She is spending time with her loved ones; precious time that is oh so fleeting. And she is doing it with a smile. And Rory, although I'm sure there are tears, is blogging it with a smile. He's sharing these last moments of Joey's life with the world, in the hopes that they resonate with someone.

Boy did they resonate with me.

I don't think I'm dying. What I mean is, I have nothing to indicate that I'm ill. I have no plans to go anytime soon. But neither did Joey. I don't think most people plan for that sort of thing. But now it has me thinking.

If something happened to me, how would my loved ones know what they mean to me? Sure, I tell them. Everyday, in fact. Multiple times a day. But I want them to have more than that. When my dad passed away in 2012, I didn't get to say goodbye. We knew he was sick - he spent a week in the hospital. But we didn't know it was time for goodbye. And I missed out on those final words.

For three and a half years, that has stuck with me. My dad was already gone by the time I got to the hospital. My goodbyes were said to a lifeless body. It's hard to not regret that. I know my dad loved me. I have no doubts about that. But what I do have doubts about is how often I told him I loved him. My dad and I had our fair share of issues. I loved him. Man, did I love him. But we fought. We argued. We were both stubborn and thick-headed as a brick, and we often butted those heads together.

When I go, I want to leave behind a legacy. I imagine most of us do. I want there to be no doubt that I loved with all that I had. So on this cold and quiet Sunday, I'm making a vow to myself:

Leave no doubt with the ones you love about how you feel. Love more, fight less, and always, always say the words. 

Those words have power. They leave a mark. Leave your mark behind.


Live from Okie Land,

E